Yesterday I went shopping for a new mattress.
Quite ordinary and not worth mentioning? Maybe, but I did learn a thing or two and would like some advise.

The first store I went to was an expensive one, but advertises with great quality and specialised advice. So when asked what I wanted I returned the question with ‘what can you recommend me?’
The shopkeeper started naming all the models she had: this is our 4000X and has hardened springs and costs xxx, this is model 5800 and is made of perforated latex and costs xxx.
When I asked her for more details she looked at me as though I had asked a very silly question and said: perforated means with holes in.

I know you can’t expect more out of some people, but I lost my patience, got (nearly) angry with her and was upset and distracted for some hours. And I didn’t get a mattress or any advice.
My friend told me that lesser magic was clearly not my strongest asset.

So, maybe I can get some advice here (on lesser magic, not mattresses)?


In the next store I came up with a nice idea on making my own artificial humanoid companion.
Although ‘humanoid’ is not exactly correct. I’m not sure the result will have a lot of recognizable human features. But that’s not really important to me. It will have what I want. I’ll let you know how my project works out.

Don't let her get to you. She's stupid and you aren't simple as that. Might i remind you that she bases her entire living on working at a matress store, so when someone like that gives you more shit you can just remind yourself that they aren't worth a damn. They can hardly scrape together 10 grand a year.

I can't really help you with the lesser magic. Maybe a higher ranking satanist will give ya some advice.....maybe.

Keep your chin up. People like that are deffinately not worth your time. Funny how people that work at low end jobs and have low shitty wages feel that they have the right to give innocent people like you attitude. tsk tsk.

Ave Satanas!

For a good mattress, I would have to recommend the Englander Tension Ease 1180 EF. Quite firm, but if you want it soft, they'll get a bunch of Mexicans at the factory to jump up and down on it for a few weeks until it's soft enough for you.

As far as Lesser Magic goes... can't really help you there. Either you have the knack for it, or you don't.

You can always hone your skills with a mirror and a tape recorder. Practice friendly facial expressions and gestures in the mirror. Practice saying certain things. Perhaps a grimace and your speech patterns hinder you. Also, when you meet someone for the first time, think about what it is that they do to make you feel at ease with them. Why do you feel that way and how could doing something similar appeal to all people you meet?

There is no manual called "How to Have Personality", and one thing Lesser Magic requires is personality.

Oh look! A rabbit trail! Let's see where it goes!

I hardly see what working in a Mattress store has to do with how intelligent a person is. Are you implying that a Satanist could not stoop to have a job in a bedding and mattress store? A person is not defined by their vocation. Many people in the herd upon meeting someone ask, "What do you do?", which implies, "How much more or less valuable are you compared to me?" Like the line in the movie Fight Club, "You aren't yer fuckin' khakis!"

In college, I was working towards acheiving a degree in Journalism and English so that I could have a fancy high paying job. When I realized how miserable I'd be working until my eyes were bleeding behind a desk and in front of a computer screen, I said "to Hell with this!". Now I'm a pipefitter/welder. Being basically a construction worker, I'm happier than I ever would've been in the corporate wasteland. I make plenty of money to live. I don't need more money than I could ever spend at the expense of my sanity. I enjoy the hell out of actually acomplishing something in a days work. When I get too old to comfortably work in the extreme conditions of my vocation, I will then get an office job designing the intircate systems that I'm now installing, or perhaps I will be a salesman and make bids for the systems my company installs, or perhaps I will be a project manager and oversee the jobs, or perhaps I'll be really outstanding and do all three at the same time! I hate the idea of having my life completely planned out for me by anyone else or by myself. Who's to say that in another year or two I won't change my mind and want to do something else completely different?

I used to work in retail in college. I was a sporting goods department manager for a while. I enjoyed working around hunting and fishing gear as well as chatting it up with customers about hunting and fishing. I used to work as Loss Prevention for the same store. I enjoyed getting paid to prevent theft and tackle shoplifters. For a while, I was considering going out for training in law enforcement... until I got bored with it.

Just my opinion, but a persons vocation has little to do with their worth and intelligence. Some people aren't concerned with the common idea that you are your job.

the problem is that people bore me quickly and stupidity makes me lose my temper. I can't just walk away from it.
The question is actually: how do you keep calm and don't attack.
At that point, I really don't care about the mattress anymore. I just start to feel angry and upset. I can always go to an other shop and I do not care about that woman. But I hate the way it gets to me. How do I stop them from ruining my day?

Oh, and although it's cliche, it may often help to count to ten inwardly before getting angry with someone. I find it also helps to empathize with salespeople, and put myself in their shoes--it doesn't excuse stupidity or outright incompetence, but it can shed light onto why some of them are frazzled or stressed, and this can inspire kinder sentiments towards them.

Getting needlessly angry at a minor inconvenience saps energy from you that could better be used elsewhere.

As an example, Satanism teaches that trying to love everyone dilutes that emotion. If you attempt to love everyone, what is left for those who really deserve it? If you become annoyed at every minor altercation, what do you have left when you go into your ritual chamber?

Satanists realize that the herd is populated with those that are ignorant and foolish. However, we also realize that this can be an asset to us.

That knowledge becomes your power.

Pick you battles wisely.

As far as Lesser Magic goes... can't really help you there. Either you have the knack for it, or you don't.

Then, by your reasoning, I suppose "The Satanic Witch" is a pointless book.

There is no manual called "How to Have Personality", and one thing Lesser Magic requires is personality.

Not necessarily. What you really have it not the focus; It is what people think you have, that is.

I can offer some advice from first hand experience on both sides of the situation.

When I was in my former years, about 16 or 17 I worked at a video store. I had customers all the time walk up to me and ask me questions that I really thought they should have known. These customers have been comming to this store for years and yet they still never caught the fact that all movies are in alphabetical order. This got quite irritating. Or every morning there was an elderly cranky fellow that seemed to upset everyone on first shift, except for me. I had to come to learn that sometimes, people have had a pretty bad day even before they walk into that door. People may be suffering from emotional turmoil and it's ashame we get the ugly end of it. Sometimes people might have an issue with focus and they need assistance. As an employee and in some cases a boss, it's my job to be sure they are offered the best quality service that I can provide. Always begin a conversation with a compliment if possible. It's easy to get upset and let customers to provoke you into responding into a way that they can begin to feed off of your negative energy.

As a customer, I also had horrible service before. I simply had to come to an understanding that I don't know everything and that this sales associate could not. I simply smiled and as the conversation progressed I allowed the experience to be just that, an experience that could be manipulated by my very expressions and reactions. Just let it go and be as it is, you can't change everyone but you can change yourself in the midst of such opportunities. Consider it a Satanic challenge .

Please note I am not suggesting that you don't become angry or have good reason for anger.

I am suggesting that it isn't what other people do or fail to do that makes you angry.

It is what you tell yourself about the situation that does.

Behind every anger is a moment of prior frustration. It may happen so fast you don't catch it in action but later you can usually think back and identify what it was that you felt frustrated about.

The anger part comes when there is an (often internal unspoken) demand on your part that the way things are shouldn't be that way!

In other words it is a demand for reality to not be the way it already is.

If you can change what you tell yourself about frustrating situations you may not feel anger at all.

You may, for example, feel gleeful delight.

Ask yourself how you would have felt at the moment the salewoman was frustrating you if you had immediately thought of a way to have her feel suddenly compelled to apologize to you and offer to give you any mattress in the store free of charge?

If that had actually happened I suspect your movement toward anger would have suddenly become a sense of smug satisfaction instead.

What we tell ourselves about things not only affects how we emotionally respond but also guides us to coming up with better approaches to get what we really do want.

Just my opinion.

I salute you.

You are not what you do.

Therefore do what you want to do to experience what you want to experience.

Or, in other words, think outside the box and ask yourself if what you are doing is actually getting you where you want to go.

Thank you for a very satisfying post to read!

My own tale is much the reverse, but the sentiment is the same. I was a drywaller for many years, made great money when I wanted to and relaxed when I needed to. Eventually, I got tired of the grind of the big city I lived in and moved to a small country town. Some of my herd-friends called me crazy and could not fathom me doing what I wanted, instead of what was "expected." I did what I wanted to anyway. Again, I grew tired of the way my life was progressing and quit working to go back to school. Again, my friends asked me silly questions, only this time it was whether I was afraid!?! Imagine! Fear of self-improvement!It never occurred to me to fear doing what I want. Not then, and now that I think of it, not ever. This is the type of thing that sets me apart from them. My oldest friend has 2 families and 4 kids, works long hours at a job he hates, to pay what he's expected. He's totally trapped by his own herd mentality, yet he asks me if I'm afraid of being free? It's time like this I yell aloud- Hail Satan!

It sounds like you were dealing with a rude clerk and were well within your rights to become angered.

Commission is the language salesmen speak.

So, in regards to dealing with the situation by using applied psychology, you might have said, "I will be glad to go elsewhere." (Negotiators call that a BATNA--best alternative to no agreement.)

Then, if the clerk continues to be rude, ask to speak with the manager and report the infraction.

If that doesn't work, call their corporate office and complain relentlessly.

You would be surprised at how much free stuff and glowing apologies you can get by using available BATNAs for leverage.

That's just my opinion, having seen what goes on behind the scenes in retail contexts.

Well Zink, pretty much emotional energy wasted for such a tiny matter. Why that?
I think you are not so experienced in buisiness communications, it is a complete different matter than day to day conversations with friends or strangers.

Keep just a simple rule in mind: "Communicate what I want."

For example:
You wanted a mattress. I bet $50 that this was the only idea about the product when you entered the shop. You put trust in the assumption that the clerk will help you. Congratulations, you're doomed!

The job of the clerk is not to give you advices, the job is to sell something. So, in most cases the clerk will try to give you the feeling that you are completly incompetent to make a sane decision about the product you want.
I know this from computer buisiness. A customer wants to buy a computer and I used to tell him things like: 1.5 GHz, FireWire, DualRaid, FSB200, Hypertransport, Advaced Sound System, Centrino, AMD but Intel compatible, MMX unit, anisotrope antialiasing, fault tolerant system, MMX again but now for video, twin-view, flatscreen, TCO97, Eco-Compliant, three layered internet defense system, USB2.0, U100, 4.200rpm, 15ms, 2MB cache, 802.11g WLAN, 4 port 10/100 nway switch, 2.0 dBi antenna, manageable by SNMP and MIB-II(RFC 1213) !!!

Now the customer feels like a complete idiot, and you are god. God tells now the little sheep what to buy. Of course the most expensive product.

Just keep in mind what you want. A matrress, cheap and comftable. Listen to the blah blah and repeat communicating your simple requests, especially low price!

Don't react, create!

Hail Satan!

Quote:

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How do I stop them from ruining my day?

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This helps!





Note: The author made this post only for entertainment purposes. It does not reflect his opinion how to behave in society nor it is meant as an advice for real life behaviour.

Thank you for this reply.
The fact that she was (not) selling mattresses has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings towards her.
Last year I learned ‘the hard way’ that who I am and what I do are not related. I had to give up a job that had been my goal for 5 years. When I finally reached it, it didn’t prove worth it.
At first it felt like a failure, a major setback… but after some time I realized that it wasn’t: I learned a lot, about myself and others, and it was a very valuable experience.
I’m happy I did it, but not sorry to end it.

Thank you, Magister.
This is a useful answer. I will try to keep this in mind next time someone irritates me.
The frustrations I get from similar events mostly come from the loss of control. When I lose control over a situation, I often lose my ‘cool’. I am learning tough… with your suggestion in mind I might remember to keep control, if not over a situation, than at least over myself…

Off the subject of Lesser Magic.
I used to work as the delivery boy at a place that made mattresses. It was a local mattress place, not serta or anything.
While I was working there, I noticed something. The only difference between the $300 mattress and the $1000 mattress was the color of the cloth.
Same springs, same padding. Just different color cloth. The pillow top was about the only thing that changed how the bed went together, other than that, everything came from the same pile.
And the best part was that the customers would lay down on the "different" beds and swear that one was firmer or softer. HA! If they only knew that the only differences was the color of the bed.
Toad

>>Many people in the herd upon meeting someone ask, "What
>>do you do?", which implies, "How much more or less
>>valuable are you compared to me?" Like the line in the
>>movie Fight Club, "You aren't yer fuckin' khakis!"

I've also seen the career-comparing attitude used in a seemingly opposite way. I've run into both blue-collar workers and starving artist types on occasion who ask what I do for a living, and then once they find out it involves sitting at a desk on weekdays, the solipsism begins. Their projected idea is that I must be miserable if I work in an office, because of course they feel they would be. Or that I have no creative output in my life. They usually start off with the follow-up question "Do you like it?" or if it were phrased more bluntly, "Yeah, but are you HAPPY?" There's also the stupid religious-based idea here of "I make less money than you, therefore I'm more humble, therefore I'm superior". Of course, it never occurs to these annoying dweebs that there might be people who don't want to run their own business, or whose interests and skills are much better matched to a career that falls into a white-collar category.

Though I suspect some of them, like their pretentious white-collar counterparts that you mention, are probably secretly unsatisfied with their own jobs, and are merely trying to find false justification for liking what they do for income. Some even start to grill me. One of my friends introduced me to his mom, and after she asked me what I did for a living, then followed up with the "Do you like it?" line. Huh? I answered along the lines of "Yeah, it's alright." She says "Hmm, it doesn't sound like you do." Damn, I don't know this woman 15 seconds, and already she's trying to act as my shrink!

Personally, I don't identify with the people who act pretentious around me about being self-employed starving artists, nor the hobbyless ones who define themselves by their job title. My occupation isn't my life.

When I start small talk just to get a feeling for someone I always asks, "So, what do you do for work?" Then after they have answered I reply with, "Sounds like fun." That is when their true colors show (not always, but usually).

When people ask me about work or school I always answer them with a "I love it." because I truly do or I would not be doing it.

Oh, Discipline, true indeed, on both counts.

I have actually found that you may need to insert a negative point into a conversation about school or your job in order to keep the conversation going, because many people have trouble springboarding off of a wholly positive topic, if that makes sense.

Of course it makes sense. However, I don't do it to entertain them. I do it to entertain myself. Their reactions and responses can lead to a lot of information on what type of person they are.

point taken, but she still should not have given her attitude. it was both rude and unnecessary. I loved the movie fight club and i agree with the quote, "you aren't your khakis" and she may not be her job, but she gave her attitude and deserves to be mocked.

Oh, good to hear I'm not the only one who's noticed it, then.

>>point taken, but she still should not have given her
>>attitude.

I never said otherwise. In fact, I never said anything about the original anecdote.

Quote:

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Then, by your reasoning, I suppose "The Satanic Witch" is a pointless book.

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Anyone who reads the book cannot instantly be made a witch. Self-help books sell like hot cakes, but most people never grasp the information enough to find a solution to their personal problems.

It has always amazed me that so many take jobs that they hate. So much of our time on this planet is spent at our work places, it boggels the mind that someone would spend that time, at a place they didnt want to be. A self inposed prison sentance. I hear so much complaining from people hating thier jobs, then looking at me like I'm crazy when I might suggest they quit. Are time on this planet is brief, use that time wisely. Most inportant of all be glad you are alive, enjoy your life. Espeacialy your work place you will spend so much time there.

I agree, with qualifications:

I saw someone post that "you are not what you do", but I always tend to think that that is EXACTLY what you are... Your actions and endeavors tend to define your identity. You may not necessarily "be your job", but that does not mean you shouldn't set out to define your identity based on your accomplishments - whether you make a living from them or not.

I think it's pretty grand when people successfully make a living on something to which they are very enthusiastic about, and are able to mould their character from a productive endeavor. I am often guilty of taking this a little too far, I admit, and I tend to identify myself rather strictly on my career performace. When I periodically step back and look at this, I'm able to back off before it starts affecting my self esteem. Those without enough of this sort of reflection can be these types who hate what they do and make sure everyone knows it; those with an excess of this type of reflection tend to take on tasks they cannot handle and always feel shitty about themselves because they're failing at things they aren't even qualified to do...

Not everyone is as serious about that, but I think failing to identify in some way with your work/career can make one lose the logical connection between their quality of work and quality of life. Losing this connection is what results in so many people these days expecting more out of life than they put in...

So, yeah: you're going to spend the majority of your waking hours doing it, so you may as well do something you enjoy and which reflects who you are and what you do best...

MM

I can't expect the entire living world to live the way I do. I'm an optimistic person because I'm a doer, I don't wait for things to happen to me. I wasn't always this way, but I have learned in my life so far that "nothing comes to those who hesitate". If I lose one job, big deal, I will get another one. Personally, I don't want to get paid to do something I love to do, I just want to do it. The minute someone pays you for something, they have authority to tell you how and when and why to do it. I would cease to enjoy it as much at that point. However, it costs money to survive in this world. I do what I have to do at work and enjoy it for whatever it's worth. If it simply isn't worth it anymore, I quit and get another job. I have more pride than to ever allow myself to collect unemployment or accept charity simply because I have chosen to neglect the task of actively seeking income. Obviously this subject is viewed by some as a matter of opinion. To me, it makes no difference what a person does for a living as long as it's legal and you don't complain to me about how boring it is. Politicians, CEO's and dog catchers eat, sleep, and shit just like I do. It's what you do with the time that you aren't getting paid to do something that makes you who you really are.

It's remembered me one russian fun-story:
Once, manager of small shop saw, that customer leaving his shop with tent, boat, fishing tackles, some bottles of vodka and big bag. Manager asked the seller:"How could you sell so many stuff?", and seller answered:"So, he cames to buy something for his wife's menses, and I sold it, and then say - what are you going to do all week at home?"

thank you all for your replies. It has given me some ideas on how to improve myself....

Have you considered saving yourself the stress and shopping on-line?