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#97829 - 05/06/05 09:03 AM Re: Another Psychic Vampire query [Re: speculum]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11650
Loc: New England, USA
I concur with Mr. Hargis: this is not the kind of financial issue that one should find in somebody who's 30. I can understand being a teen or a full-time college student and constantly having no money, but she does rather sound like one of these hopeless cases of a person who will never be able to pull themselves out of the muck.

>>I could break it off with her, but something keeps me
>>there...

You don't have to necessarily dump her cold. You could just, as the Satanic Bible suggests, "play dumb". Or actually in this case it means playing strictly logical while acting indifferent to any emotional pleas.

Having no money means she can't do things that involve money. So give her the illusion of taking a thoroughly (and coldly if need be) logical approach to that situation. Plan things that involve no money. Maybe she needs to be bored to death to test her true colors. If she suggests going out to dinner or something that would involve spending cash, "debate" with her, but without asking direct questions. Say "Hmm, I thought you didn't have any money right now." Make her finish her responses; don't respond to sentence fragments like "Well, I thought we could, you know, just, like..." She won't be able to logically justify going out, and she'll know it.

Go to a movie or concert without her and then tell her all about it. If she asks why you didn't take her, explain that you knew she was "broke this week" and thus didn't bother asking. In time, she'll either be forced to accept her financial limitations and stop being a burden to you, and you can judge from there whether she's worth your time, or she'll throw a whiney tantrum that she can't justify and you'll have no problem dumping her if she doesn't leave first.
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#97830 - 05/06/05 09:24 AM Re: Another Psychic Vampire query [Re: Bill_M]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
Bill, that's brilliant. Vindictive, but brilliant.

Naturally, I'll add that this technique probably produces some friction, awkwardness, and discomfort, so, people, be aware of that before using it. But, Bill, if I ever run into a money mooch, I'll give this one a try.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#97831 - 05/06/05 01:44 PM Re: Another Psychic Vampire query [Re: TrojZyr]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11650
Loc: New England, USA
>>Bill, that's brilliant. Vindictive, but brilliant.

Thank you!

>>Naturally, I'll add that this technique probably
>>produces some friction, awkwardness, and discomfort,
>>so, people, be aware of that before using it.

Yes, that's an important point. You have to pull this off without looking like an asshole whose suddenly not being supportive. I remember being in a somewhat similar situation in college, where a girlfriend was sucking up a lot of my funds, directly or indirectly. There came one time when I really was broke -- less than $10 in the checking account, and still a few days before my next workstudy check. I told her flat out that I was broke. She was really, really pissed. Though what seemed to make her even more pissed off was the fact that she couldn't say anything to me.

So that might be another method here: just insist one week that you're absolutely broke and see what happens.
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now!

http://www.aplaceformystuff.org: Tales of Combat Clutter and other Adventures

(Wenn du Google's ‹bersetzer verwendest, um diese Worte zu lesen, dann bist du ein Arschloch.)

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#97832 - 05/06/05 05:47 PM Re: Another Psychic Vampire query [Re: Bill_M]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
just insist one week that you're absolutely broke and see what happens.

Yup, that's definitely more my style. I've even used that one a variety of times. Sure enough, various people made themselves scarce as soon as the funds disappered.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#97833 - 05/08/05 06:23 PM Re: Another Psychic Vampire query [Re: speculum]
jedisolo Offline


Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 16
Loc: Behind My Eyes
Respondsibilty to the Respondsible.

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#97834 - 05/08/05 07:54 PM Re: Another Psychic Vampire query [Re: speculum]
Kenose Offline


Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 70
My advice ...

Ask yourself, "where do I want to be and what do I want to acheive ?"

If this woman does not seem able to fit into that puzzle, drop her like a rock that you no longer need to carry. Seems to me you do all for her and she is doing nothing for you... an effective and worthwhile relationship is both participants working togeather towards the same goal.

So many people generally seem to cling onto one another due to the fear of being alone ?
Clinging to each other so tight they blind and fool themselves into thinking that the relationship is just going to work out. Its pathetic. Find your pride, and tell this woman what the deal is. If she does not like it, move on... very easy. Honesty and truth will clear this matter up entirely and quickly... unless you like to play the servant.

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