>>Then it dawned on me that I do perform rituals, just not
>>with the prescribed psycho-drama of TSB. I write, play
>>music, draw and watch movies.
Actually, there are plenty of Satanists who do these types of things and likewise recognize them, at least in part, as their fantasy or ritualistic release. Likewise, Satanists who don't find an easy release through creating art or what not, or perhaps live or work in a very conservative environment where personal aesthetic expression is very limited, are often the ones who visit the ritual chamber more frequently.
>>If my thoughts on ritual are correct I would like to
>>participate in them someday...
I'd say you're right on the money. As for formalized ritual itself, personally I strongly encourage every Satanist to perform the standard Satanic ritual at least once
in their life time. Obviously, Satanists should never "force" themselves to do organized ritual when they don't feel like doing it. But the practice of using the intellectual decompression chamber take up the entire second half of our "Bible", so it obviously has some significance to the religion.
I see some Satanists trying to make excuses not to do it. "I don't have a gong", "I'd feel silly standing there reciting an invocation", "I don't have the time and place". A lot of them, I think, simply don't have the discipline and patience or organize a ceremony and carry it through. But corners can be cut if they have to be (leaving out the phallus, using an extended arm instead of a sword, subsituting the gong for the bell or vice versa, etc.) Sometimes the people most reluctant to do it are unknowingly setting themselves up quite an emotional release once they finally perform their first ritual.
>>does anyone know of any good books/websites dedicated to
>>Satanic and Occult symbols, their meanings and origins?
Although it isn't an in-depth source, Symbols.com
is a great place to look up the meaning of certain symbols and their variations.