I used to pull pranks on them when I was younger down in Detroit. Now I own the biggest house in my town so when they come walking down the sidewalk I am usually standing on the porch with my shirt off drinking a beer (they tend to always come right as I am finishing up yard work and starting up the grill.).
I am covered in large devil tattoos that are easily seen from a distance and these young men are normally in their early 20's and not ready to deal with my aggressive personality. It started out them skipping my house at first but lately we have actually started yelling out to them to come back," Please come back! I would really like to buy some god today!! I even have money!!". AWWW, come on guys.... you didn't get all dressed up like that for nothing!? Can I at least get a pamphlet?
They just get in their car and continue on their way. I still have fun doing it though.
Loc: United Kingdom
JW's are the least of our problems over in my pad. We have every flavour of the Jesuit selling their brand. The worst is when they stop you on the street.
I have however adopted a tactic when they approach me. Nod and smile, yep it takes them totally by surprise they actually encounter someone that seems interested. The trick is to offer them nothing in terms of feedback, while still seeming interested so they still have to hard sell without actually being able to enter into conversation, lots of "hmm hmm's" and nods of the heads tend to work in my case. Eventually they chat and blether and run out of steam. It's funny when they get to the point when they realise they can say no more hand you quick card and move on. It gives me a just a wee bit of satisfaction that I've managed to waste a bit of their time, all be it 15 minutes or so!
I've seen this on youtube recently, it's pretty much the same thing I do to the God Squad, exept for telemarketers. It made me smile anyway.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people insist on putting ideas into it!
Jehovah Witnesses are generally nice, peaceful people, who will not disturb you unless you enter into a religious discussion with them. Then, they get turned on and can ramble for hours. Also if you take some newspapers or leaflets from them, they can become a nuisance. They will keep coming back and bothering you, because they will think that you are interested.
If they knock at my door I always say "Thank you, I'm not interested" or just mere "No, thanks" and they smile and go away, sometimes wishing me a good day. I almost pity them. It must be a nasty job to go door to door and proselytize. It seems to me that if they were not obliged to proselytize by their religion, they would gladly stay at home.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Firstly, you're lookin good for pushin 50, Second I think you give it to them way too easy...
See I like to answer the door wearing nothing but my underwear (especially when the women come... oooh thank ya jesus!) anyway, at first I like to play the part of the witless heathen... Slowly acting as though I'm more and more interested in their Jehovah... Slowly edging my way closer to them while they spread their good word... until I'm just all up in their space bubble... that's about the time when I put my hand on their shoulder, smiling gladly at their teaching me... all the way up until I pop a huge rock hard throbbing boner... which I pretend not to notice and encourage them to keep going.
Oh man, you should see how hard they blush, it's almost as though they've never had one before, poor things... anyway, then I start asking them if god thinks it's ok to have sex in positions other than missionary... because I'm curious ya know?!... I wanna know if I can worship god and still bend my girl over the kitchen sink ya know... that's not so much to ask right? I then proceed to demonstrate various positions to see if god would be cool with them... You'd be amazed at their resolve when they think they're getting through to you...
A shame though, those women never came back to check up on me like they said they would... the daughter was cute (18ish) and looked VERY corruptible...
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained, and using well spoken words; This is good luck." ´┐Ż Gautama Buddha
Loc: near Baton Rouge, LA
The last door to door religious salesperson came to my house on Halloween afternoon last year. I saw a very pretty, well dressed young woman walking toward my front door. At the moment I was only wearing boxer shorts, so not knowing who she was I ran to grab some pants and a shirt and let my wife answer the door.
If I had known what her purpose was I would have opened the door just as I was.
And too bad I wasn't home alone! (My wife sent her away.)
"The difference between the man or woman who's a practicing Satanist, from an identity Satanist is that the practicing Satanist looks at the picture, while the identity Satanist studies the frame." -- Anton Szandor LaVey
"Anyone without a sense of humor is too pretentious to be a good magician." -- Anton Szandor LaVey