you could always go to Confession on Saturday and be sqeaky clean for mass on sunday.

When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.

- Frank Sinatra
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way.
So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

-Emo Philips

It's hard to be religious when certain people
are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

-Bill Watterson