Chess, I'm fairly similar to you in that area. That's sort of why I replied to Hound Dog here. Some people's not knowing what they're looking for are other people's not really feeling particularly interested in finding anything to latch onto, or having some sort of light bulb moment when they do. Since I was raised Athiest, discovering the Satanic bible to me was sort of a "Well duh" kind of thing. What struck me where the people I knew that were "Practicing" Satanists. Boy did they need the practice, heh.

Everyone has those moments where they go "Huh. Yup. That's pretty much how I feel." Where beforehand it was slightly less defined.
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Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand

Kurt Vonnegut