Just start with reading The Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey.

If it's for you, you will know. After that there is a whole swathe of additional literature but there isn't any reason to delve into that until you've read the primary text first.

You can buy the Satanic Bible at almost any good bookshop - usually in the new age section. It isn't rare, don't pay any extortionate prices on the internet. Around 10 or 12 $$ is about it I should think, these days.

Sorry to hear about your mother. It takes quite some time to heal after such a loss -- remember that and don't rush into anything.

Human beings are as significant as a cigarette burn in the sun.